If there's a Bitch Slap, why not a Bitch Hug?
This film that I'm going to write about is a Swedish movie called "Bitch Kram" or in English, "Bitch Hug." Two seemingly contrasting terms make a new word, which means a hug that has a huge force in it but is done with no thoughts in mind. The main character, Kristin, tells us that she hates herself but also loves herself. She's a person with a strong desire to become free, to learn everything, but she feels that being in a small town in Sweden deprives her of becoming what she wants. Her dream is to go to New York, and live there while doing what she wants, and that is to write. She also has a list of things that she wants to accomplish, some are unusual yet some are quite common. Her adventurous personality, however, comes with everyone's prejudice. Everyone, especially her sister, does not believe in her capability and determination to do what she wants. Her sister especially tells her that she's merely running away from her own self and her responsibilities.
Some of the things Kristin listed that she has accomplished with the help of Andrea.
When she was about to go to New York after high school graduation, Kristin misses her flight and had a lot of trouble getting a new ticket and so she delayed going to New York. Unable to go to New York, she stayed with a younger friend who lives in the countryside. The younger friend, Andrea, was the one who is also at fault in making Kristin late for her flight. Kristin was devastated, yet she figured out that she didn't want to admit to everyone that she didn't make it to New York just yet. Kristin got a job, you see, in a newspaper, wherein she would write about her life in New York, but seeing as she didn't make it, she figured out a way to make it seem that she's already in the city that never sleeps. With the help of Andrea, she wrote articles for the newspaper, and even deceived her sister into believing that she's indeed living the life in New York.
Scene where Kristin and Andrea fooled Kristin's sister into believing that they're in a Starbucks cafe in New York.
Andrea has some beliefs that may seem weird for others, but when you look at it carefully, makes sense. The screen shot above, where Andrea explains why there are those cross-stitched designs on their dining area. She explains that "The right amount of something ugly makes it pretty." It somehow makes sense because if there's just one of those designs in the dining area, it will seem tacky. But seeing as it doesn't seem bad when they're that many, then it makes sense even more. The next thing that Andrea said that blew my mind was when she was asked by Kristin what she wants to become in the future. Andrea answered that she doesn't want to become anything, because not everyone wants to "become," and isn't it enough to just be? It really made sense to me especially that it's somehow related to Zen belief. She told the audience that it is not much important to know what you want to become and what's more of value is what you are now. What you are now, what you're doing right now, what your choices are right now, are the basis of what you become. That's why I admire Andrea as much as Kristin admires her as a friend, because despite having gone to a terrible experience in a young age, she's mature enough to handle herself.
After becoming best friends with Andrea, everything seems to be going well with Kristin's "adventures" in New York. Of course, that has to come to an end and that's why Kristin's sister Linn (and their friends) found out that she's still in Sweden and has been fabricating her stories. I will not further tell about what happens next to the movie and instead I will provide my insight about it. The movie is not the one where you watch to find out how it ends. It's a movie where you enjoy every scene and be excited about their adventures instead of looking forward to what happens next. Like what is commonly being quoted, "it's not about the outcome, it's how you came to achieve it." Also, there are many other things that you can learn from the characters in the movie because one way or another, we can relate to them. In some point of our lives, we have to become devastated, be criticized, be lost, but eventually there will come a time that we'll get past it and learn from all of it because that's not where it all ends.
At the end of the movie, Kristin tells us what she learned from that bumpy ride. "There are two sides to everything. What's visible on the outside, and what's on the inside. You'll understand that if you just listen." What I understand about this is that her concept of her loving herself and also hating herself from before is quite different now. Maybe before, she's just saying that yes, she has some things that she loves about herself yet there are also things that she hate. However, after going through that journey, she maybe realizes that there are two sides to everything, including herself. She doesn't merely have some things she likes and not like about herself, but because she has two sides, there is bound to be opposing sides to herself. By knowing both sides (be it evil or good, lazy or hard working) of a person, we understand another person's whole being; and it is reassuring to have someone accept us wholly despite knowing our both sides.
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