A Sudden Realization.

Doing nothing or being an absolutely non-busy person makes me think about myself a lot. I always generate lots of questions in my mind especially when left alone for some time. These questions are mostly about either my future or my character as an individual. I might say, I have never known myself this much compared to before. Without further ado, let me share to you my thoughts as my fingers are begging me to put these impressions from my mind into words produced through typing from this machine thing called a computer. 

I believe that I have lots of interests like many other people, I suppose. As a person, I would want to put these interests into practice and not just remain ideas that I like to do from my mind. Starting from when I was a child, my mother made me choose between three lessons that I would like to take during the summer. Ballet, gymnastics or piano? What I chose as a child made me realize the kind of little person I was back in the day. Surprise! I chose to do piano lessons, well, because I thought back then that ballet and gymnastics were tough and required much body movements whilst playing the piano only involved fingers at least. So I did piano for almost 7 years if I'm not mistaken and because I was a child going through puberty, I didn't have much interest as I had when I was much younger so I decided to quit playing. It was disappointing when I think about it nowadays because I could have achieved higher in piano playing. Right now I still read notes but not as good anymore. During high school I learned playing the guitar as it was a trend. I learned from and with my friends that's why it was much more interesting. I still can play with basic chords although I don't have the motivation to further enhance my skill. Next thing I learned about was playing the drums. This was during early college. Once I was done with the lessons that I'd (my parents actually) paid for, I did some practice again with friends but it wasn't enough and I was pretty busy with college hence not playing anymore. Also, I lost my first drum sticks.. These are not all the things that I'm interested in but sharing these says a lot about me. I hate to admit it but I'm a quitter. Once I learn things, I don't want to get better anymore and settle for just learning the basics. I hate that about myself and I want to change.

This is where my sudden realization goes in. When I write, words just flow (although not so smoothly) and I don't get tired. After I'm done writing, I read my work. In some of my works, I see unorganized thoughts, hastiness, repetitive words, and many more. I always find someway to critique myself. On the other hand, I have some works that I'm actually proud of and read over and over again. There are just days that I have more beautiful words to say and have more organized thoughts. The point is, I like writing. I see how in writing, I always want to improve. In writing, I see that I don't want to quit because there is no reason for it. All that is left to do is to pursue refinement in my writing. I will start doing the little things that could help: read lots of books, read words of the day, and blog more often. I will commit this time around.

Final words:

I write because in writing, I am myself, I can be who I really am, and I can be who I want to be.