What this blog is all about.

I just have a lot of feelings right now so I decided to make an entry. I'm just realizing that I'm on my last year of being a teenager and that I'm graduating soon. I mean, how can I not feel that right now when I'm being a bum doing nothing all day but watch FRIENDS. You see, while watching FRIENDS, I realized that "OMG, I'm turning 20 next year." And that 10 year gap from being a teenager to being a "full-grown" adult is deemed to be the "best" years in one's life. That's when one person can live independently and make choices for himself/herself. Those choices would directly affect which path one would walk in when he or she turns "old and boring." Well, as I'm watching that lovely series, I am really realizing that anything can happen and to be honest, I'm looking forward to those years in my life especially right now. As I'm really looking forward to it, I want to start it with something I would really enjoy. Maybe I'd have some regrets but hell to that I wouldn't think of them in a bad way and just make the present matter. 

I've noticed that these days I'm worrying a lot because of my future and I want to do all sorts of things. But I'm realizing that I am not the only one involved in my future that's why I'm really confused. I don't know which path to take with all the choices. I'd like to take on something that would make me look good but not make me feel good about myself, or vice-versa, that's why it's killing me. Now I just want to focus with myself and my present. Take choices one by one. Now, this paragraph doesn't really matter.

To put it short, life might not be all fun and adventure but we can treat it as one. I would like to have all the fun I could have especially when I still could. There's no stopping my adventure. Hell, this blog is all about it.

Writing & Passion.

Finding the right words… Thinking of fitting ideas… It’s really hard to write something that would satisfy a writer. A writer would always want to scratch everything that he or she have written and make a whole different concept. Endless proof reading and revisions… But in the end, he or she would always go with the one which makes him or her feel good, no matter how badly written the work is.

I’m writing this entry at nearly 1am, September 9, 2012. I’m quite sleepy right now but I want to make an entry for this night. I have lots of stuff going on in my mind right now and they’re in a hurry to come out and be put into words. First stop, I’d like to share something about finding what you’re truly for. This finding your true passion and living it is quite cliché but I’d like to say that it is not an easy thing as you see in movies. Your life would not fit a 1-hour and 40-minute movie and it is not as beautiful as the portrayal in those near reality fictions. Sometimes life can be a bit blurry – imagine a blurry scene and all you can make out of it is the sound, which can be just sad piano music. Well, this blurry part of life is where I am right now. When you think you’ve already achieved something that’s admirable, you end up thinking whether it really is, whether it is something worthwhile. At 19 years old, almost living for 2 decades in the world and given 13 years of everyday social experience at school, how come do I feel like I haven’t done anything meaningful? But then maybe it’s because I’m JUST 19. This is not some first world problem and those shit others say. People live for many different reasons – and I haven’t found anything I feel that is worth it. Other people or perhaps most people say that in finding passion, one should make use of one’s talent or gift. Perhaps you’re a really good singer, maybe you can sing songs with messages that can reach every people in this damn world to make them realize those things that should be of importance. I’ll not make myself look pitiful here but I really haven’t found anything I’m good at that could make a difference in this world. I’m still enjoying in trying out things that could be my passion and make use of that to possibly leave a legacy.

Even though I’m still writing and re-writing my life by learning from experiences, I believe that I will find that something that would make me feel good all the time. That something that I would never regret doing and that something that I would be willing to spend my life with to make my life worth living.